Michiko, Surely You Jest?

Surely surely surely Michiko Kakutani read this smackdown before writing her review of Jonathan Franzen's Freedom? Either way, the piece is hilarious.

Compare Shivani's key claim:

Every good book is Chekhovian or Jamesian or Forsterian or Updikean--she has mastered the technique of saying nothing in a review by comparing books to an author's previous books and to classics which have nothing to do with the book at hand.

To the first sentence of Kakutani's review:

Jonathan Franzen's galvanic new novel, “Freedom,” showcases his impressive literary toolkit — every essential storytelling skill, plus plenty of bells and whistles — and his ability to throw open a big, Updikean picture window on American middle-class life.

And, in case that wasn't enough, a partial list of others to whom Franzen is compared in the review (which is about 1100 words):

Pynchon
DeLillo
Mann
Machiavelli
Nietzsche
Tolstoy
Dickens
David Foster Wallace
Freud
Darwin

If only she had capped it off by saying that Franzen was in the ballpark of her all time fave Gary Shteyngart...